Why am I a piece of shit

Well, here I am Writing about me, like an asshole of course... Where should I even f*ckin' begin? I am a piece of shit... I've cheated I've lied I've pretended to be someone I am not I've talked shit about other people I've not been true to myself I've done an insane amount of crap And I still do that And worst of all, I've tried to convince myself I am not the piece of shit that everyone knows I am but I can't... People like to talk about your mistakes They talk and talk until they convince you about it... And will always do so What do I do now? How can I redeem myself? (I am not sure about that word. I've heard it, but... I think it's the first time I use it... "redeem". I'm just guessing) Maybe I can't, right? Maybe my shit will follow me forever And maybe I won't be able to put it together... The only thing that keeps me sane is... My family, my cat, the two assholes I have as friends, that girl that once I loved (I want to see what she ends up doing, you know?), my "decent" job (I guess), and... Well, some things.... I am alive to begin with... I guess things aren't that bad right? I guess that the only thing that keeps me sane is the fact that things could be worse... Thank god for tomorrow Just wake up early Wake up early And do your shit